


we've done this once before

by torigates



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-04
Updated: 2013-11-04
Packaged: 2017-12-31 12:44:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1031838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torigates/pseuds/torigates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Here’s the weird thing about Barney: even when he’s doing the most stupid, asinine plots, you just couldn’t help but admiring him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we've done this once before

Here’s the weird thing about Barney: even when he’s doing the most stupid, asinine plots, you just couldn’t help but admiring him.

When he set his mind to doing something, it did it. It was actually kind of frightening when you thought about it.

“Barney, you are not eighteen anymore. If you did everything on that list you would die.”

 _Uh oh._ Sometimes Robin couldn’t believe she dated Ted for as long as she did. He was such a drama queen. And seriously? Everyone new not to issue a wager around Barney. _Everyone_.

This is how it goes:

First she was kind of scared. He pierced his own ear, for crying out loud. Then, she was just impressed. A futon, really? Only Barney would buy a futon just to win a bet.

Maybe that’s why Robin agreed to help Barney with the Murtaugh List. He was going to do it either way—Robin could at least make sure he didn’t kill himself. Oh, and pretty much anything that would point out how much of a tool Ted was, was worth doing.

Cause Ted was really, really a douche. That old geezer was going _down_.

They had to run through the answering machine message five times before Robin got it right. Her phoney laugh kept turning into a real one.

“Get it together, Scherbatsky,” Barney told her after the third attempt. “I won’t stand for sabotage on my team.”

“I’m sorry,” she said still chuckling.

They ran through it again, and Robin burst out laughing in the exact same spot. Barney gave her a ‘What’s wrong with you?’ look, she couldn’t stop giggling. His expression changed, Robin couldn’t quite read it.

She finally nails it, and Barney’s face broke out into a grin. “It’s probably going to cost me some dates, but that’s okay,” he said surveying the bar.

“Barney, your ear is starting to smell.” What the hell did he do to himself? Robin was about to suggest they stop at the hospital before their next item, but Barney pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket.

“Check it out,” he said. “I made a list of my own. An _Anti_ -Murtaugh List, if you will.”

Robin scanned the list, a smile spreading over her face. “This is great,” she said. “But you should add colonoscopy.”

Barney grinned, that same look from before on his face. “Good one, Scherbatsky! Maybe you won’t be a liability after all.”

 

 

 

“What’s next?” Barney asked.

Robin glanced down at the paper in her hand. “Either go to a mosh pit or help someone move for pizza and beer.”

Barney considered his options. Robin could tell neither seemed very appealing to him. “We could just tell Ted you did these things,” she suggested.

“Have you no pride?” he asked. “I am going to beat Ted fair and square, and then we’re going to TP laser tag! It’s going to be legend—wait for—ack!” He clutched his back.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked.

“Of course I’m okay, Robin. I’m _awesome_.”

It turned out Barney’s plan was just to wander the streets until they found someone who looked like they were moving.

Surprisingly (or maybe not so surprisingly, Robin didn’t like to ask questions when it came to Barney’s various connections), they found some people pretty quickly.

Robin wanted to point how sketchy the whole thing was, but then Barney blew out his knee.

“That is _it_ ,” she said. “We’re going back to the apartment, and we are crossing mosh put off the list. You’re going to kill yourself.”

“If we do that, then Ted has won, Robin. Is that what you want?”

Robin snatched the list out of his hands. “Cheating on a test,” she read, checking them both off. “Done and done.”

“I like the way you think, Scherbat—ack!” He almost fell over. “Maybe a little rest wouldn’t be such a bad idea.”

Robin hailed a cab.

 

 

 

Barney met her outside McLaren’s a few hours later. When she saw him, Robin couldn’t help but stare. It shouldn’t have shocked her, but it did.

He had neon pink hair, bright blue jeans and a fishnet shirt over a lime green tank top.

“You look…” she trailed off.

“You’re one to talk,” he said. Robin though he was probably going for his ‘sexy’ voice, but paired with the limp and his ear, which was now visible from a distance, it didn’t have quite the same affect it usually did.

“So where’s the rave?” she asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” Barney said evasively.

 

 

 

The rave was loud. Louder even than the clubs Robin had been to. That or she was just getting too old for this shit.

She and Barney were easily the oldest people there. A girl came up to Robin and hugged her, placing a glow stick around her neck… Yeah, they were _definitely_ too old for this.

Barney was yelling something in her ear—Robin had no idea if he was actually talking to her or just in pain. She took his hand and pushed her way into the crowd.

If possible, things only got louder. Robin could feel the beat pulsing through her. There were bodies pressed up against her in every direction and Barney was clinging to her hand.

Eventually she found a space in the mob. She turned around to face Barney. He looked completely ridiculous—and miserable. Robin smiled and pressed their bodies together, moving to the beat.

They were definitely too old for this. Still, Barney put his hands on her hips and moved with her. Robin smiled and tossed her head back.

This was _fun_.

 

 

 

Robin could almost let herself forget who she is. Forget who _they_ are. Forget that she’s a barely surviving reporter in her late twenties who lives with her ex-boyfriend and hasn’t been on a date in weeks.

She could forget everything but the music pulsing through her veins and just be young and stupid. She was just a girl dancing with a boy.

Except she wasn’t just a girl, and he wasn’t just a boy. He was Barney and sleeping with him once almost ruined everything. She couldn’t let herself forget that.

It was nice for the moment, though.

 

 

 

She had to hand it to him, Barney put up a solid effort, but after a couple of hours he was barely standing anymore, he was that hunched over. Robin decided to take pity on him, grabbing his hand again, this time moving toward the exit.

That didn’t stop her from messing with him outside the club—just a little. As much as she didn’t like to see him suffer, she had to admit it was a little endearing. The pain meant he wasn’t putting on his normal Barney act.

It kind of reminded her of the time he got sick and she took care of him. She felt like she got to see him as a person. The real Barney. That wasn’t something she saw very often. It was nice.

In the cab he leaned against her shoulder, moaning in pain.

“Are you okay?” she asked. It was a stupid question, but Robin was a little drunk, and maybe a little high too. She was definitely too old for this shit.

“Of course,” he said. “I’m awe—ack!” He groaned again.

“Barney, this is ridiculous. You are not okay! Is it really worth it?” she asked.

“Of course, it is, Robin. As Ted’s best friend it my responsibility, nay my _duty_ , to make sure he lives life to the fullest. And he can’t do that if he’s living like his life is already over. It isn’t.”

Robin didn’t reply, just patted his head (making sure to stay far away from his ear). The fact was Barney was right. Ted _had_ been in a funk lately—since Stella, really.

It was nice how much Barney cared about him. That was why she could never let herself forget. Not ever.

 

 

 

“I can’t believe you guys did all this,” Ted said at the hospital. They were waiting for Barney, who was in with a doctor.

Robin smiled. “You know how Barney gets when he sets his mind to something.”

Ted looked at her for a long time without replying. Robin was still wearing her rave clothes, and people had been giving her funny looks.

“Yeah,” he said eventually. “I do.”

Robin nodded. “Maybe we should go check on him,” she suggested.

“Nah,” Ted said. “You go head. I’m going to wait out here.”

“Are you sure?” she asked.

He nodded. “Yeah, you go ahead.”

Barney was lying on a bed when she walked in. He looked like he was still in a lot of pain.

“Hey,” she said.

He raised his head slightly and smiled at her. It was one of those rare, genuine smiles. No fake Barney attitude. “Hey,” she said back.

“Are you doing any better?” she asked.

“This?” he said gesturing to himself. “It’s nothing.”

Robin sat down on the edge of his bed. “Right,” she said. “That’s why Ted practically had to carry you out of the laser tag place.”

Barney scoffed. “I was helping him. He needs a good workout.”

“Listen Barney,” Robin said putting her hand on his leg. He immediately turned to face her. “I know you want to help Ted,” she paused. “But part of being a good best friend means taking care of yourself too. You’re not going to be a very good wingman in a wheelchair.”

He looked serious for a moment before smiling. “Robin, Robin, Robin. You are not reading my blog, because if you were you’d know that eighty-three percent of all women find men in wheelchairs hot. It kicks in the maternal instinct. Paraplegic high five—ack!” He tried to raise his arm and winced.

Robin smiled and shook her head. “Despite you almost killing yourself, I had a lot of fun,” she told him.

He smiled the same genuine one from earlier. “Me too,” he said. They stared at each other for a moment. After a moment he looked away. “Where’s Ted?” he asked.

“He’s waiting outside,” she told him. “Do you want me to get him?”

He shook his head, and Robin thought maybe Barney wasn’t letting himself forget either. 


End file.
